The Journey - JMV

It was my first impulse to write about every single audition. Each place I went, who I met, and of course, what I ate. However, as the blessings started pile on I ended up singing for 7 different programs in two Months. That's simply FAR too much to write about, not to mention honestly? It becomes all the same concept after a while.
A huge group of talented women with matching educations all try in their own whimsical, subtle and un subtle ways to be better than the woman next to her. "Yawn" After 3 states I found this so boring I started to tune out whenever I saw it.Unwanted negative energy and stress. I almost did not succeed.

Wearing your heart and soul on your sleeve seriously can conjure some interesting defense mechanisms and not any of them good. However I have a pretty amazing support team and musical Panel who did not hesitate to set me straight. So back to this audition plight:   Directors know what they want and you can no more guess what it is blindly than you can fly a plane without a pilots license. Atleast, without any glitches. ;-) So from what I can figure all you can do is thank god or whoever it is your believe in) and just SING! Easier said than done right? Yes, if you can stop yourself from being your own barrier... I believe it just might be the answer.

So for the next few weeks I sit, waiting for rejection after rejection letter, a few acceptances tucked away in Irony's little pandora box and plan my future and teaching studio. For some folks, the not knowing and rejection would kill them. For me, it's just another part of the adventure it this Opera singing foodies journey of life. Not to say I didn't cry after being turned down from a call - back from another program I wanted. Yes, I cried.... I'm not sure why it broke my heart so but, singing is just  so passionate it really can twist your nipples when you don't get what you want. Today I found out my director tried to take away my part in our school's Opera. I was unsurprised interestingly enough. I can't add numbers very well but from the moment I shake a persons hand, I have their number.  So now I'm waiting and practicing diligently to see what move I need to make next. Sometimes even as an adult it is so hard to function in a anti disability world. I get the job done but because I do it a little differently that seems to scare folks. My gram would say intimidate. Am I that scary? Hmm... Well, if I'm frightening at 27 I wonder what I'll be like in 20 years in this business. Opera toughens your tuckus but puts rainbows in your soul. So I figure it's a fair trade. Bostons next my next destination! I just might write about that. We shall see. :-)