The Prizes that aren't worth the price of winning. JMV

My stars, It's only 2 weeks into School and I am learning so many valuable lessons. My time at Duquesne may be expensive but every second seems to make me stronger so, it's worth paying off until I'm too old to care I suppose.
  Something I think you wonderful people can relate to "Often, peoples craziness and aggressive behavior really isnt about you! It's not about what you did... what you said, it's about them. If you come to the conclusion you can't fix the individuals feelings towards you,  and it's affecting your work, physical self, and or happiness. you have to decide: Am I going to Play ball and stick around and learn something from this person? Don't be afraid to ask yourself questions! " What will I gain? What will I lose? Or is it time to walk away and pick up another game?"  I just learned how to handle this kind of situation, and let me tell you, letting go of what you can't control truly makes you feel a sense of freedom. Sure there are consequences! And those need to be weighed.
However folks, especially you singer types) if something or someone is making you feel so uncomfortable you can't sleep at night or, is physically and mentally harming you, seriously consider letting it go. Letting go of something takes weight off, and leaves the opportunity for two things :  1. If you are a person of faith, the Lords word is a lot more audible. and 2. Even if you're not it leaves a space for the potential for something or someone or something extraordinary to take the space of what was weighing you down. So that's the lesson I offer you for the first two weeks of school. Boston is next week! I know I'll prepare a lot more efficiently and sing more freely because of this difficult multi faceted lesson. Just something to stick in your pockets Kid's! Lot's of love, Jen

The Journey - JMV

It was my first impulse to write about every single audition. Each place I went, who I met, and of course, what I ate. However, as the blessings started pile on I ended up singing for 7 different programs in two Months. That's simply FAR too much to write about, not to mention honestly? It becomes all the same concept after a while.
A huge group of talented women with matching educations all try in their own whimsical, subtle and un subtle ways to be better than the woman next to her. "Yawn" After 3 states I found this so boring I started to tune out whenever I saw it.Unwanted negative energy and stress. I almost did not succeed.

Wearing your heart and soul on your sleeve seriously can conjure some interesting defense mechanisms and not any of them good. However I have a pretty amazing support team and musical Panel who did not hesitate to set me straight. So back to this audition plight:   Directors know what they want and you can no more guess what it is blindly than you can fly a plane without a pilots license. Atleast, without any glitches. ;-) So from what I can figure all you can do is thank god or whoever it is your believe in) and just SING! Easier said than done right? Yes, if you can stop yourself from being your own barrier... I believe it just might be the answer.

So for the next few weeks I sit, waiting for rejection after rejection letter, a few acceptances tucked away in Irony's little pandora box and plan my future and teaching studio. For some folks, the not knowing and rejection would kill them. For me, it's just another part of the adventure it this Opera singing foodies journey of life. Not to say I didn't cry after being turned down from a call - back from another program I wanted. Yes, I cried.... I'm not sure why it broke my heart so but, singing is just  so passionate it really can twist your nipples when you don't get what you want. Today I found out my director tried to take away my part in our school's Opera. I was unsurprised interestingly enough. I can't add numbers very well but from the moment I shake a persons hand, I have their number.  So now I'm waiting and practicing diligently to see what move I need to make next. Sometimes even as an adult it is so hard to function in a anti disability world. I get the job done but because I do it a little differently that seems to scare folks. My gram would say intimidate. Am I that scary? Hmm... Well, if I'm frightening at 27 I wonder what I'll be like in 20 years in this business. Opera toughens your tuckus but puts rainbows in your soul. So I figure it's a fair trade. Bostons next my next destination! I just might write about that. We shall see. :-)